Online vs. Proxy Marriage: Which Is Best for You?

For couples facing distance—whether due to military deployment or a long-distance relationship—marrying in person isn’t always easy. Some may consider a proxy marriage, where one partner (or both) isn’t physically present and is represented by a stand-in. In a proxy wedding, another person (a “proxy”) takes the place of the absent partner during the ceremony. This approach has a long history (even medieval royalty used it) but today it’s very limited. In the U.S., only a handful of states permit proxy marriages (for example, Texas, Colorado, Kansas, and Montana), and usually only under strict conditions like active military duty. In practice, using a proxy often requires special paperwork (for instance, appointing the proxy in writing) and it may not be recognized outside that state. In contrast, an online marriage means you are present (virtually) in the ceremony. Your wedding is conducted via live video – think Zoom or Skype – with both partners appearing on screen alongside an officiant.

In an online wedding, both partners participate via video, exchange vows, and can even share rings, just as they would in person. Everyone sees and hears one another in real time, making it feel like a normal ceremony, only virtual. Proxy weddings, by contrast, have at least one partner completely absent, so someone stands in their place. Because of this key difference, online weddings avoid many of the headaches proxies involve. You don’t need a power of attorney or special proxy license, and you keep the emotional connection of your real faces on the screen.

Another big difference is legality and availability. Proxy marriages are rare and heavily restricted. Most states won’t allow them at all, and even the few that do typically limit them to military personnel on active duty. For example, Texas allows a proxy only if one spouse is deployed; Montana allows double-proxy only if one partner is active military or a resident. That means lots of couples can’t use proxies. Online marriages (through Utah), on the other hand, are broadly available. Utah’s program lets anyone apply for a digital marriage license with no residency or citizenship requirement. You simply submit IDs online and e-sign the forms. Then on your wedding day, a Utah-licensed officiant leads the ceremony while you and your witnesses join by videoconference. The result is a fully legal marriage certificate, valid nationwide. One review notes that with Utah’s system “you will receive a legal US Marriage Certificate. Marriages performed legally in one state are recognized across the country”. In short, online marriage removes almost all the geographical and procedural barriers that proxy weddings involve.

Utah’s approach is not only legal but remarkably easy and modern. In fact, as of 2024 Utah is the only U.S. state that continues to offer permanent virtual weddings. The Utah County Clerk’s office teamed up with tech experts to make the whole process digital: couples never have to visit a clerk’s office or put ink on paper. Their system verifies your driver’s license or passport electronically, and you pay fees online just by credit card. There’s no waiting period and no complex affidavits beyond the standard marriage license forms. On the video-call wedding day, the officiant must be physically in Utah (that’s just how they define the jurisdiction), but the couple and witnesses can literally join from anywhere. As one guide explains, no matter your home state, “you can get married online easily using Utah County’s online marriage services… your wedding officiant must be physically located in Utah during the ceremony. But you and your partner can attend the ceremony and take your vows from any state, or any country!” In short, Utah’s virtual wedding is fully legitimate under Utah law and gives you a nationally recognized marriage.

All this adds up to fewer rules and more convenience with a Utah online wedding compared to a proxy. You don’t need to coordinate travel or proxies, and you avoid extra costs. In fact, one benefit of online weddings is how they “save time and money” since there’s no travel – “couples can get married from anywhere in the world as long as they have an internet connection”. It also means family and friends far away can still be part of your day virtually. There’s no need to worry that another state won’t recognize your Utah marriage; by law, a valid marriage is valid everywhere in the U.S. Compare that to a proxy marriage, which might only count in some places. And unlike proxy weddings (which often require special licenses or military status), the Utah online ceremony is open to any couple with an internet link and a desire to get married.

This process is especially welcoming for military and long-distance couples. During the pandemic, virtual weddings gave “unique opportunities for military couples” to marry while deployed, and Utah has carried that opportunity forward. If one of you is serving overseas or stationed far from home, you no longer have to delay marriage or wrestle with proxy rules. You simply log in from wherever you are and marry via video. It’s still 100% legal and official – in fact, Utah’s Clerk’s office emphasizes that these remote ceremonies are legal under state law. Once you’re married, you also enjoy all the usual spousal benefits (for example, many married service members get higher housing allowances). Because it’s a real Utah marriage certificate, you can update your military records and enjoy tax and benefits changes just as if you’d walked down the aisle in person. In short, Utah’s online wedding program gives military and globally separated couples a friendly, hassle-free way to tie the knot.

Getting started is easy. Vowed and Clear specializes in helping couples complete Utah’s online marriage process smoothly. We’ll help you apply for the Utah license online and handle the tech setup for your virtual ceremony. On your wedding day, we walk you through the simple video call and ensure everything is filed correctly with Utah County. It’s a straightforward, friendly process with far fewer hoops than a proxy wedding. Ready to say “I do” online? Visit our pricing page for package details and to start your Utah marriage application today.

Key Differences at a Glance

Frequently Asked Questions

Is an online marriage as legally valid as a proxy marriage?

Yes, and in many cases more so. Online marriages through Utah are recognized in all 50 states due to the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution. Proxy marriages may face recognition challenges in some states.

Can military couples use online marriage instead of proxy?

Absolutely! Online marriage is perfect for military couples. You can marry from deployment, different bases, or anywhere with internet. You’ll get the same BAH increase and spousal benefits as any other legal marriage.

How quickly can we get married online vs. proxy?

Online marriages through Utah can happen within days - apply online, schedule your ceremony, and you’re married. Proxy marriages often require weeks of paperwork and coordination.

What if we want family to attend?

With online marriage, unlimited guests can join your video ceremony from anywhere. With proxy marriage, your actual wedding happens without you present, making guest participation meaningless.

Make Your Choice

While proxy marriages served a purpose historically and still help some military couples in specific situations, online marriage offers a modern, accessible alternative that keeps you at the center of your own wedding day. No stand-ins, no complex paperwork, no geographical restrictions - just you, your partner, and your commitment to each other, witnessed and made legal through the convenience of modern technology.

Ready to explore online marriage? Contact Vowed and Clear today to learn how we can help you say “I do” from anywhere in the world.